To build your capacity to safely and confidently experience more emotional and physical intimacy, we start by clearing the very first wounds that installed patterns to resist intimacy in your subconscious.
I remember the first time one of my children came home from school feeling battered by the cruel teasing of young children. I remember being teased as a young child. Do you remember feeling teased, hurt, and battered in the school yard and class room? Perhaps you remember being badgered before kindergarten. First memories of cruelty and pain lay a foundation for fear of intimacy that reaches far into adult life.
Do you know the coping mechanisms you developed to avoid being hurt by others?
Do you remember the first time you felt badly because you’d been a source of pain, either deliberately or unwittingly? Whether you tried to help and it went wrong, or you were learning about interactions by being the teaser, there is pain in your past.
Do you know the coping mechanisms you developed to avoid hurting others?
When you think back to those painful moments it is with your adult, wiser perspective. It’s another matter entirely to comprehend the experience of the child you were at the time – even your memories are viewed from ‘now.’
It takes some special work to allow your innocent and vulnerable inner child to feel safe releasing this old pain. It takes deep compassion and self-respect to forgive yourself for causing pain in others, to free yourself from holding your old pain.
Do you think these old pains are affecting the roots of emotional and physical intimacy in your life today?
It’s easy to dismiss the intensity of this pain as you’re used to ignoring it, or viewing it from the distance of adulthood. You have powerful mechanisms in place to protect you from feeling this old pain, and also to protect you from the connections that would invoke this kind of pain – intimate connections. Your subconscious does not consider that you have a choice about how you interact, so it will use subtle programs to avoid instead. Your subconscious will interfere with your discernment of others, your self-image, and your behaviour to ‘protect’ you.
It is a special challenge to allow these old pains to release, because the child who had these experiences does not have your adult perspective. I suggest walking through this process with the Downloads or CDs as you’ve got very strong mechanisms in place to avoid this territory.
Are you willing to discover you?
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