Relationship communication:What are your subliminal signals requesting?
Improve your relationships without saying a word!

When you realize that your subliminal signals are telling the people around you how to behave, do you wish people would just listen to what you tell them instead?

One movie leading lady tells a romantic fellow bearing roses “If you really want to impress me, paint my house.”  Works for me!  What would work for you?  Would you rather have the roses or the handyman help? Why not both?

In every personal interaction, from kids to partners to coworkers and friends, there are subliminal signals that may be saying something very different than what you would like for your relationship. One of the sources of this difference is social programs.  Using clearing tools as each subliminal program was revealed, we addressed many of the blocks that interfere with relationship happiness.

Mirroring:
Your relationships reveal subconscious programs

One of the easiest (or most frustrating) ways to discover which programs are at play in your subconscious is to notice what frustrates you about your interactions with the people around you.

Why would your subconscious tell someone to ignore you? Or to be rude?  How can this be part of a survival program?  For your subconscious it’s all about patterns.  Your subconscious will repeat the emotional dynamics you experienced in childhood because you survived – not because you were having a good time!  That’s why the subconscious is resistant to change: it wants to keep doing what you have done before, because you survived.

Do you think survival is a high enough standard for your life? Are you willing to remove the effects of these programs that limit your relationships?

You can change the neural pathways that form these primitive programs

Keep in mind that your subconscious will be resistant to this kind of change.  Would it feel awkward and uncomfortable to put your fork in the other hand when you eat? That’s how awkward and uncomfortable new programs can feel – even when it’s what you want.  Like new shoes, it helps to wear the new programs to build those new neural pathways and help yourself develop new programs for your life.  Why settle for survival? Why settle for primitive programs? Build new neural pathways to make your relationships better.

One of the programs involved the benign authority that neglects.  Regardless of what goes on in your cognitive, modern brain there may be lingering programs that recreate the feelings of being neglected by someone in authority, such as the teacher that didn’t protect from the bully at school, or the fridge that didn’t have your favorite treat in it.  As an adult you may contemplate that a child may not benefit from constant access to treats, but that may not have been the emotional reality of your experience. It is the emotional reality that your subconscious will recreate.

If you have programs about benign neglect, what does that look like in your current life? It may feel like people don’t hear you.  It may feel like you’re cared for, but not cherished.  It may feel like you come second place in their priorities – and with these programs you may feel that’s appropriate.

How much influence are you willing to have in other people’s lives?
Influences affect your choices.  Where you give influence determines what you consider when you make a choice.  What is most important to you when you make a choice?  Is it doing the right thing? Is it the people in your life? Is it the situation?  Other people have different influences, which they determine.

Status is a measure of influence
Your status determines how important you are when the people around you are making their choices.  Are you willing to be an important part of their decision making process? Are you willing to be considered when they act?

Here is a little test to determine if your subconscious programs allow you to be important to others.  Make list of the first five things that matter when you decide what to do in these situations:

1 You are given a gift of $500.

2 You are given a gift of two days of paid vacation.

3 You are given four free tickets for a dinner and show.

Check your list
Where does your well-being appear on your list?

You know what is important to you. It’s appropriate to care about everything that is important to you. How do you balance valuing you with everything you care about?  Is it possible that subconsciously your status comes from sacrificing for others?  If you feel like there’s never time, energy or money to take care of you then your subconscious programs are restricting your capacity to have status without sacrifice.  Are you willing to have more joy in your life?

Get a download or 2 CD set of this workshop